The Syncreate Podcast: Empowering Creativity
Welcome to Syncreate, where we explore the intersections between creativity, psychology, and spirituality. Our goal is to demystify the creative process and expand the boundaries of what it means to be creative.
Creativity. It’s a word we throw around all the time, but what does it really mean? On the Syncreate Podcast, we share stories of the creative journey. We talk to changemakers, visionaries and everyday creatives working in a wide array of fields and disciplines. Our goal is to explore creativity in all its facets, and to gain a better understanding of the creative process – from imagination to innovation and everything in between.
The Syncreate Podcast is hosted by Melinda Rothouse, PhD. She helps individuals and organizations bring their creative dreams and visions to life through coaching, consulting, workshops, retreats, and now, this podcast. She's written two books on creativity, including Syncreate: A Guide to Navigating the Creative Process for Individuals, Teams, and Communities (winner of a Silver Nautilus Award for Creativity and Innovation), with Charlotte Gullick. She's also a musician (singer-songwriter and bass player) and photographer based in Austin, Texas.
The Syncreate Podcast: Empowering Creativity
Episode 46: Sharing Stories - Creativity & Podcasting with Reena Friedman Watts
Reena Friedman Watts is the host of the Better Call Daddy podcast, which features guests from all walks of life with stories to share. She got her start chasing stories at the Jerry Springer Show, and worked for Court TV before starting her own show. We discuss storytelling, creativity, and the art of podcasting, as well as religion and spirituality, our relationships with our fathers, and more!
For our Creativity Pro-Tip, if you see someone doing something creative that you love, reach out to them and see if you can be a part of it. Find ways to collaborate!
Credits: The Syncreate podcast is created and hosted by Melinda Rothouse, and produced at Record ATX studios with in collaboration Michael Osborne and 14th Street Studios in Austin, Texas. Syncreate logo design by Dreux Carpenter.
If you enjoy this episode, you might also like our conversations in Episode 1: Audio Storytelling with Podcaster and Environmentalist Michael Osborne, PhD, Episode 21: The Walk of Faith and Courage with Shakespearean Actor Warren "Ren" Jackson, and Episode 42: Creativity & Depth Psychology with Jennifer Leigh Selig.
At Syncreate, we're here to support your creative endeavors. If you have an idea for a project or a new venture, find us at syncreate.org. Our book, also called Syncreate, walks you through the stages of the creative process so you can take action on your creative goals. We offer resources, creative process tools, and coaching to help you bring your work to the world. You can find more information on our website, where you can also find all of our podcast episodes. Find and connect with us on social media and YouTube under Syncreate. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe and leave us a review!
Episode-specific hyperlinks:
Reena Friedman Watts on LinkedIn
Jerry Springer / Jerry Springer Show
Episode 42: Creativity & Depth Psychology with Jennifer Leigh Selig
Unconditioning Podcast Episode 66 with Melinda Rothouse, Hosted by Whitney Ann Jenkins
Show / permanent hyperlinks:
Melinda: Welcome to Syncreate, a show where we explore the intersections between creativity, psychology and spirituality. We believe everyone has the capacity to create. And our goal is to demystify the process and expand the boundaries of what it means to be creative. So, we talk with visionaries and changemakers and everyday creatives working in a wide array of fields and mediums, from arts to science to technology and business.
And our aim is to illuminate the creative process from imagination to innovation and everything in between. I'm Melinda Rothouse, and I help individuals and organizations bring their dreams and visions to life. And at Syncreate, we're here to support your creative endeavors. So if you have an idea for a project or new venture, and you're not quite sure how to get it off the ground, reach out to us at syncreate.org.
Our book, also called Syncreate, walks you through the creative process from start to finish so you can take action on your creative goals. We also have resources, tips and coaching to help you bring your creative work to the world.
So I am so excited today to have my new-ish but growing friendship, Reena Friedman Watts. She's also a podcaster. She's the host and creator of the Better Call Daddy podcast, as well as a podcast producer and coach. And she got her start chasing stories for the Jerry Springer Show way back in the day. Definitely have some questions about that. And, you know, we connected a few months back through the World Podcast Network, through Bruce Chamoff, and he suggested that we should know each other and collaborate. And so we did. And I'm so excited to have you on the show today. So welcome, Reena.
Reena: Thank you so much for having me. I see why you are at the top of the chart. That was a fantastic intro.
Melinda: Oh, thank you so much. I'm always tweaking, you know, that's the creative process, right? But yeah, I love that. So, you know, we were talking yesterday about your show and you've, I mean, you've done so much with your show. You started in 2020, right, with that show? And you've already done hundreds of episodes, which is amazing. And so, you know, I feel like so much of what you do with your show and in general is about storytelling, right?
And so I'm curious, like how do you, how do you know a good story when you hear it? And how do you bring out other people's stories?
Reena: Yeah, that's a great question. I think what makes a great story is people that are willing to be unedited.
Melinda: Yeah. Right.
Reena: They've worked through their stuff and they are willing to have a very vulnerable conversation.
Melinda: Yes. Yes. That is so important. Yeah.
Reena: Yeah. I mean, those were the best guests. I learned that, actually, at the Jerry Springer Show. Those were the best guests. The ones that were just like, I don't care what people think, I am going to tell it like it is. You know, read the whole book to find out.
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, back in the day, you know, it's like kind of a reputation for like, okay, well, we're going to see what we find out here on the, on the show, right? But it's great. I agree. You know, it's great when people are kind of open and willing to share and not sort of, like, hesitant, like, what are people going to think? Because we all have amazing stories to share, whether we realize it or not. Yeah.
Reena: Yeah, that's a great point. I cannot tell you how many people have been like, I wish that I had a crazy enough story to be on your show. And I'm like, if you've lived life, you have something.
Melinda: Exactly. Exactly. And you may not think. You may think like, oh, this is just a mundane thing. Or everybody goes through this or whatever. But, you know, life is full of mysteries and surprises and all kinds of things.
Reena: I think, too, it's about finding common ground.
Melinda: Yes.
Reena: There is some trauma bonding aspect.
Melinda: Sure.
Reena: Right?
Melinda: Sure. Yes.
Reena: Like, what's your biggest struggle? What's your biggest struggle? A little bit of something in there for both of us right?
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Definitely. I mean, and we were talking about this actually in a recent episode that will be released actually this week. I did an episode with Jennifer Selig, and she's a, kind of a Jungian psychologist, and we were talking about the underworld journey and basically how, you know, the personal is the universal.
And she teaches, like, memoir writing. And so it's like, how do we connect our personal story to that universal common theme that anybody will be able to resonate with?
Reena: Yeah. I, I wanted to ask you actually.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: Like, I know that you're into, you know, spiritual people and that you studied religion and that you love talking about creativity and music and all these things. But I was curious, like, have you had any difficult conversations or have you talked to people you don't agree with, or have you stretched those boundaries at all? I'm interested in your stretches.
Melinda: Yeah, that's a great question actually. I mean, I've definitely had moments, you know, where I'm talking to people and I'm like, mmm. And I think, again, as you just said, it's about finding common ground.
I haven't necessarily gotten into, you know, like arguments with people because I think I'm more, I have more of a tendency to want to say like, okay, well, where can we intersect? Like where can we find our commonality? So, but, I mean, good point. I haven't necessarily sought out, you know, people that I think are going to be like super controversial or, you know, because what I'm trying to get to with the show is, of course, demystifying the creative process, but also like understanding people's internal workings, right.
Like how does creativity show up for you? Or what does that look like in your field and in your medium and, and kind of bringing out, because it's not the same for everyone, right? I mean, we think sometimes we have this misconception, like either you're creative or not, but we are all creative and we express that and experience it in different ways.
So I think at least so far, you're making me think like, maybe I do need to branch out a little bit, like, you know, what does that look like for any given person across like many different contexts,
Reena: Right. So for me, I, I interviewed a former KKK member that was converting to Judaism. Could I have interviewed him when he was spewing the hate? Probably not. But since he was like, kind of in the reform stage.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: We were able to have a very uncomfortable conversation.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: I mean, I even wanted to know, like, what he said to Jewish people.
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I'll have to. I'll have to check that one out. What was that like for you?
Reena: Honestly, even in the beginning, hearing his voice was triggering. But then once I kind of got past that, I really wanted to know, like, how did he get involved in that? And, who he really was, and could love change hate.
Melinda: Such an important question in this day and age, right?
Reena: Yeah.
Melinda: And what did you discover?
Reena: I think that people that get involved in those kind of groups are hurting themselves. From what I've discovered.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: The reason people get into gangs, the reason people hurt other people, are mean for no reason, is they've, they've had a difficult upbringing.
Melinda: Sure, sure. I mean, I've come to believe through my studies in psychology that, you know, the root of almost all of our problems and our challenges is, is trauma.
Reena: Yeah.
Melinda: You know? And so many of us experience that in different forms, in different ways. Right? Obviously, some more extreme than others. But yeah.
Reena: Yeah. Also, I was interested, I heard you say in this episode with Whitney Ann Jenkins that your dad is Jewish and your mom is Christian, and I know you've explored a lot of Buddhism and meditation and centering and all this mindful work.
Melinda: Yes.
Reena: Have you ever explored Judaism at all?
Melinda: I have. And so, like a good story that I'll share, I taught religious studies for a number of years at the college level, both at Tulane University in New Orleans and then here in Austin at Austin Community College. And one of the things that I did was I, I took students out to different religious events and, like, encouraged them to go explore on their own, particularly traditions outside of their kind of home tradition or what they grew up with.
And so, you know, we went, I mean, growing up, right? So we were, like, more secular, but we would go to some High Holidays or, you know, bar mitzvahs, bat mitzvahs, things like that. And so it was culturally present, like went to some Seders for family members, things like that. And I was always like, really interested and curious about, like what, what is all the symbolism of the Seder and like, what is this all about?
And, and definitely felt that more, I guess, cultural connection. But I was actually raised like just more secular. And I'm kind of grateful for that, actually, because I think it just, like, I didn't I didn't, like, come into life with a particular, like, religious angle or bias necessarily. But definitely, you know, went to visit synagogues and, you know, hung out with the rabbis, with my students, and sometimes on my own, as well as religious leaders from other faiths.
And one of the things I really love to do here in Austin, I did a series of panel discussions at Austin Community College where I brought together religious leaders from different traditions and like, you know, like, let's talk about a given topic, like religion and, and conflict or, you know, like, what are our differences? What are our similarities?
And it's so fascinating. But one thing that I've really found is that religious leaders, by and large, and I'm not saying this across the board, but have, tend to have this more ecumenical view where they're like, let's all have dialogue, like, let's get along. Let's try to understand each other. Let's try to find the commonalities rather than being antagonistic to each other. Of course, that's not always the case. But yeah.
Reena: I would like to attend a panel like that. I mean, that's cool.
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah. And I, you know, I was drawn to the study of religion. I kind of came into it more from, like, you know, being interested in, in music and performance and ritual and things like that, but I, I came to realize that religion is such a fascinating window into people's daily lives and their belief systems and their why and how they organize their lives and how they think about death.
I know you just recently did an episode with a hospice chaplain and cantor who wrote a musical about end of life. Right. Like the big questions like, why are we here? What's it all for? And how do different traditions and cultures, like, try to answer those questions?
Reena: Oh, I find all of that to be so fascinating. And I feel like I really started asking those kinds of questions a little bit before I got married. But definitely when I hit my 40s.
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. And that's, I think that's really common, you know, kind of as we like, get more toward midlife, we start going like, okay, well, what is this all about? You know, why am I here?
Reena: I do feel like I've had God moments within my creativity. Have you?
Melinda: Tell me more about that! Yes.
Reena: Yeah. Even when I worked at Jerry Springer.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: There was a lady who was one of the security guards for the greenrooms, and she was very churchgoing. And every time I saw her, I'm like, pray for me, pray for me, and, that I would have a good show.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: And I swear, every time that chic prayed for me, I don't know. [Laughter]. But I felt like her prayers were magical. Like, I don't know. When she wasn't there, I was like, oh, no, who's going to pray for me?
Melinda: Right.
Reena: But I started thinking about God at that time. And before that, to me, God wasn't so real. It was like, okay, if there's a God, I'll make this basket.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: You know, I was like, constantly testing God. I wasn't really buying into the whole formal, formal prayer thing. Like, I felt like synagogue was kind of like a fashion show or like, more like community of, like where you hang out with people that are like, you know, real.
Melinda: Right. Exactly. [Laughter]. Well, and I think community is a super important part of spirituality, right? For sure. But yeah, you know, one thing that's coming to mind is, you know, my mom, was in the hospital some years ago with a pretty serious infection, and we weren't sure if she was going to make it.
And I was, you know, just like, letting people know what was going on, and, like, please, like, send your, your thoughts, your good wishes, your prayers, whatever that language is for, for you. I mean, I was pretty active in a, a Buddhist meditation community at the time, like, keep her in your practice. And she miraculously pulled through. And for me, that was a big one because, like, she didn't have any brain activity.
Reena: Oh my God.
Melinda: And she ended up, like, waking up. So I think there really is, you know, like we can talk about it in different ways from like physics to spirituality, but like, everything is energy, right?
Reena: Oh, yeah.
Melinda: And so if we're putting our positive energy and our intentions out there on behalf of someone else, like, I think, you know, that's going to be felt in some way.
Reena: That is a remarkable story. It's funny because my mom too actually went through breast cancer, and I had just signed up for this trip abroad. It was like a spiritual singles trip.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: This is like, 18 to 35. And I got, like, I think a scholarship to go or something. And I was living in LA at the time, and my mom was like, go, you know, my sister's a nurse and she's coming here to take care of me.
And so I ended up going on the trip. And then the day of her surgery, I like, rounded up the people that were in my group. And I was like, can everybody, like, say a prayer for my mom? And I felt really spiritually connected to that.
Melinda: Yes.
Reena: And after the trip, I ended up going and being with my mom for a couple months, and she went through like rehab and reconstruction and stuff. And I ended up meeting my husband, I kid you not, like right after that.
Melinda: You're kidding. But not through the trip?
Reena: I felt like that…
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: Was spiritually connected.
Melinda: Definitely. Definitely. Well, and that's so interesting in different ways because like, you went on this singles trip, so you had the intention out there, but sounds like you actually met him in a different context. But the timing.
Reena: Oh yeah, there's been so many timing things where I feel God too. Like, I mean, we met on an internet dating site and I wasn't a paying member and he was a paying member and he wouldn't have been able to message me unless we were on at the same time.
Melinda: Oh wow.
Reena: And it was funny to me, because I had this cousin who lived on Venice Beach, and he used to he used to invite people over for Passover, people just from the beach. And, you know, Jews from all walks of life, from the Kabbalah Center, all of these interesting people. I actually loved it. It was the most interesting Passover I've ever been to. And you know, my mom gave me his phone number when I moved to LA. He was like my only relative there. Just like, oh, you have a cousin in LA.
And at his table, the one thing he said at his Passover table was, what do you want to be free from?
Melinda: Yes.
Reena: I love that question.
Melinda: It's such a good question.
Reena: At his table, I said I wanted to be free from JDate, like, from the internet dating site that I had been using to try to find someone. And I ended up meeting him on that site that same year.
Melinda: And then you were free of it.
Reena: I was free of it.
Melinda: I love that. I love that, and I love that question about like, you know, how do we each experience that connection between, you know, creativity and spirituality? So, you know, you mentioned, kind of, the God moment in the Jerry Springer Show with the guard and the prayers, but how else has that shown up for you, like in your own creative work?
Reena: Yeah. Thank you. Even recently, I went to this local meetup, it’s called Cup of Joey, here in Houston, because we're new to town and I like to meet other creatives and entrepreneurs. And I went up to this guy and you lead with your why. Like what gets you up in the morning? What lights you up? I love that actually. Not like, what do you do?
Melinda: It's a great one.
Reena: And, I said I love to interview inspirational dads or daddy's girls or anybody with a little daddy drama story. And he said, my brother is an inspirational dad. And he started a nonprofit because his son has a rare form of muscular dystrophy.
Melinda: Oh, wow.
Reena: And he offered to, like, sponsor me, getting a studio and interview his brother. And it was the most moving story. And it was like one of those things where, you know, that's what I love to do. I love to get into the studio. I love to connect with people. I love to get people's stories. I sat down with this guy for an hour and a half before we recorded. I did a two-hour interview. I enjoyed editing the thing, and after I interviewed him, that story literally moved me to tears.
Melinda: Wow. That’s amazing.
Reena: And it felt spiritual, the whole thing, and how it came together and how we moved quickly to make it happen. He came to my first meetup that I ended up putting on after, I've gotten him on other shows now, he wants to continue to work with me, and it was just… I feel like that's a thing too.
When these opportunities come to you, when God presents you with these opportunities, either entertain them immediately, because they're gifts, like jump on them, don't hesitate, or leave room for other opportunities to keep presenting themselves, like.
Melinda: Yes.
Reena: If something's presented and you're like, I don't know, listen to that gut. Let it go. Make room for something else. But if there's something that you're like, yeah, I want to do something with that person, then freaking go for it and don't overthink it.
Melinda: Yes. For sure. Yeah, I think that's so true. So that kind of brings me to your podcast, right? Better Call Daddy, which is a very successful and well-known show. And the premise is you talk to different people about their stories, and then you have your dad weigh in at the end. And, the one I just listened to, the one about the musical that we were talking about, you know, I was just really struck by, you know, your father's kind of wisdom and how he sort of, like, summed everything up and just gave this really thoughtful, advice. So, like, how did you get the idea for that premise, like to structure your show that way?
Reena: Honestly, I wanted to interview, like, shock and awe type of story.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: Like Jerry Springer slash Howard Stern, cause I used to book those kinds of guests. But then I was like, after I got some of those kinds of guests on the show, I feel like what was resonating more with my audience was everyday people that had never told their story.
And I kind of mix it up with celebrities, still, like I did interview Judge Alex because I worked on that show for five seasons. I did interview one of the nannies from Nanny 911, but I do try to tie it back to the daddy angle and yeah, the dad piece was kind of like Jerry Springer’s final thought at the end. It was like, you can interview anyone and that, and he can have a lesson at the end.
And for me too, something that was important was, on the Jerry Springer Show, like, there's never a happy ending, right? On our show, I kind of wanted there to be that.
Melinda: Yes. Like to end on a positive note, right? Like no matter how crazy things get, there's a possibility that we can, like, the way I see it, you know, we can make meaning of our experiences, of our suffering, of our trauma, and if we can make meaning from it, as Viktor Frankl said, right, then we can learn and grow from it. So.
Reena: I love that you just brought up Viktor Frankl because we went to Austin recently.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: That was the one book in our Airbnb. So I reread A Man's Search for Meaning.
Melinda: Oh yeah, yeah, so powerful. Yeah.
Reena: In some ways, I swear to God, I feel like I'm a reincarnation of someone that has gone through the Holocaust. Like I am constantly, even though, you know, my parents didn't go through it, my grandparents didn't go through it.
I'm very lucky. I've known a lot of my great grandparents. The Holocaust, I am, and just the world today, like, all of these wars that are happening, I feel those things on such a deep level. And a part of my show, too, I want to be able to have conversations in a real, honest, raw way with people I might not agree with. So I can learn from that. And even my dad can learn from that.
Melinda: Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's one of the things, like, back to those panel discussions that, you know, I had a professor in grad school who ended up going to Chicago, and he does like interfaith dialogue between like, Christians, Muslims and Jews. And, I mean, I think that those conversations are so very important.
And that was what I was kind of trying to do on a smaller level as well, with other faith leaders as well, not just those three traditions, but, you know, it's like, how can we come to the table and try to, like, understand each other, you know, rather.
Reena: Do you feel like coming from an interfaith background has played into your creativity? Have you tried to weave that in at all?
Melinda: Yeah. That's a great question. I mean, you know, I, again, I was raised in a pretty secular context. So but I think maybe just the fact that my parents were not of the same religion, maybe, like, opened me up to different possibilities, just in a way as, like people who are like multiracial, multicultural, you know, whatever.
Like they, you know, they talk about like kind of this living in two worlds or speaking multiple languages, like you're literally thinking in different languages. And I think it just, yeah, it opens up maybe space for possibilities in a way that, and I'm speculating here because that's not my experience. But if you're raised with one single tradition or one single way of being, you know, often that's just like, that's just how it is, right?
Like that's what you know. And then people, I think, maybe end up getting a little older and then they start to question that, and then they have this like crisis of faith. And do they end up like recommitting to their kind of home tradition? Do they go seeking for other kinds of wisdom? Do they like, sort of become cynical about religion and spirituality all together?
But I think, at least for me, in my own experience, it just, you know, I always kind of had this sense of, well, there's multiple ways. There's not just one way to be in the world.
Reena: That's cool.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: I feel like that's a healthy response. Did you ever feel like you didn't fit into either?
Melinda: Yeah. I mean, I always felt like kind of on the outside of all of it. Like, I would go to different churches with friends growing up and like, see what that was like. And, you know, obviously go to synagogue now and then and, I don't know. I was just, I was a very voracious reader as a kid. So I remember at a pretty young age reading books like, you know, Siddhartha, by Herman Hesse and, you know, getting interested in, like, the Tao Te Ching and, you know, different kind of eastern traditions.
And so I think I was just really curious. I think it's curiosity, you know, about, like, well, how do other people live? How do other people exist in the world? You know, and I think there's wisdom in a lot of different places, and I really respect that.
Reena: Also, you kind of like mentioned with your mom, like, when she was having a hard time that brought you to religion. I heard in your episode with Whitney Ann, you talk about, you were going through a breakup. And for the first time in your life you experienced panic attacks. Did you then turn to God or spirituality in that time again?
Melinda: Well talk about, like, synchronicity. What happened with that is I, I was already feeling like… I had done some meditation here and there, like, you know, just like guided meditations or this and that. And, and I had known people who were, you know, Buddhists in various stages of my life. But when I went through that breakup, it's like, I think, you know, crisis often leads us to spirituality, right? Because we're looking for the deep answers. Right? Not obvious. Right?
Like when we're just rolling along in life and everything's great. We don't necessarily, like ,we're not asking the bigger questions. But all of a sudden, when there's a big crisis, then. So, you know, I had, I had moved to Austin from New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and that was a huge shake up. And I was just kind of starting my new life in Austin, which I literally had to like… I felt like my life was taken upside down and shaken, right?
And I had to start complete, I had to reinvent myself from scratch, basically. And so I was in a relationship when I moved here, and when that relationship ended, I had already been starting to feel this kind of yearning toward a more spiritual path. And I was like, exploring different things and reading different books. But when that breakup happened, I was in New Orleans.
I was back in New Orleans, actually, and I was in a bookstore in Uptown New Orleans. And I was just wandering around, and this book, like, sort of jumped off the shelf. It was like one of the staff picks, and it was Pema Chödrön’s book, When Things Fall Apart, do you know that book?
Reena: No. I need to read that.
Melinda: You do. It's a game changer. And it's actually the, I'd say it's the one book that has brought so many people to meditation because she talks about her own personal crisis. And actually it was a divorce, that, that got her, like, really on to the path. And it's so relatable. Right? And so it was just like, the right thing at the right time.
And I had also been reading like The Power of Now and, you know, some, some books like that, more spirituality focused. And so I came back to Austin and there was a meditation center that was like down the street from where I lived when I first came to Austin. And I had always been thinking like, oh, I should go check that out.
I want to go see what that's about. And I never had set foot in the door. And so I came back, you know, as I was going through this breakup, came back to Austin, was reading Pema Chödrön’s book, and I was like, I'm going in there. And I went and I, like, walked in the door and received meditation instruction and then like, signed up for a class and that was it. It was like, I was on. Yeah. I was on the path from there. Like really, truly.
Reena: That's amazing.
Melinda: Yeah, yeah.
Reena: I love meditation. I need it more in my life.
Melinda: [Laughter] I know right. Yeah.
Reena: But yeah, also, I feel like I was doing a lot of that after a breakup. I think I did yoga, like kung fu yoga for about a year and a half before I met my husband, because I was in a previous relationship, and I, when that ended… It's funny because we went from working with each other at Jerry Springer to moving to L.A. together.
Melinda: Oh, wow.
Reena: And then when we moved to L.A., I was like, oh.
Melinda: Sometimes changing contexts can, like, be really eye opening in a relationship, right? That's happened to me before. Yeah.
Reena: Definitely. And so we ended up breaking up. And then after that ended, because we were together for about three years, it was a big soul-searching period for me of kind of like how I got into that situation.
Melinda: Yes.
Reena: I needed to choose some healthier habits. I quit smoking, I took a job that I loved. I actually decided to take a job third shift. I am such a night person. I took a post-production supervisor role on Nanny 911 and we worked opposite schedules, and then that helped with the breakup.
Melinda: Yeah. All right.
Reena: And yeah, then I did yoga for about a year and a half and took a break from having sex and got super clear on, like, what I wanted in a relationship, and met my husband shortly after that.
Melinda: That's amazing. I love that story. And I think, again, I think it's like a fairly common one. It's like, again, when we go through some sort of crisis, whether it's the end of a relationship or losing a job or, you know, being displaced or losing a loved one, whatever these things are, it's like that's when we start to kind of go like inward and like, okay, what's going on?
Are there some changes I need to make? Like, how do I really want to move forward from here? You know, that soul searching.
Reena: I'm curious too, like, do you ever call your parents for direction? Like, I literally call my dad through all of that, I'm like, I'm at this place again. I'm at a transition. I don't know what I want to do. Help.
Melinda: Yeah. Yeah, I do for sure. And my dad, I have a similar kind of relationship, I think, with my dad. And he's great because he's like, he's a little deadpan. He's got like, kind of dry sense of humor, you know, but he's, he always, he has this joke when I, whoever I tell him, like, about, you know, a friend or somebody that's going through something. He's like, well, they never called me for advice, you know?
So whenever I call for advice, he's like, I'm like, okay, sit down. Are you ready? Because like, I, you know, when I was younger, he was just like, who are you? And I don't even know you. And he didn't know me either. We've come to, like, closer and closer as I've gotten older, you know? But whenever I actually ask for advice, he's just, like, thrilled.
Reena: That's cute.
Melinda: Yeah, yeah.
Reena: What do you think he is the most proud of you about? I'm curious about that.
Melinda: Yeah. So kind of like I just alluded to, you know, when I was younger, like, there's a lot of ways that my father and I are different. Ways that we’re similar as well.
But, you know, he's very, he's always been optimistic, which I appreciate. You know, no matter how like, difficult or dark things get, he retains a sense of optimism. But, you know, I chose a very different path than he did. You know, he's a retired physician. He grew up in a good Jewish family. And you got two choices, kid. You can be a doctor or a lawyer. Right?
And I was, like, more inclined toward this creative path. And, you know, he definitely encouraged me to like, well, get a practical degree, you know, just in case, just as a backup. And, you know, and I kind of did do that, actually. But I've always pursued music, you know, I'm a musician and I do a lot of different, creative work.
And I think when I was younger, when I was still finding my way and stumbling around, as we all do, right, in kind of our 20s and, and early 30s, you know, he would just be like making like, ‘Well, you should go get a job doing, you know, like this.’ And I was just like, that was the last thing that I would ever do, you know? Right. Like, you know, seriously? Like, really?
But, you know, as, as I've gotten older, you know, I've followed a really nontraditional path and it's worked out for me. Right? Like, I love my life. I do all these different creative things. I'm a published author, I’m a musician, podcaster, professor, you know, I do coaching and consulting.
Like I've figured it out. And it's not like a linear path. It's not one of those things where it's like you do A, B, C, D, and you know, you just do the thing. I've had to kind of figure it out and invent it on my own. And I've had a lot of dead ends and moments of confusion and, you know, having to reinvent myself.
But I've gotten to a really good place, and I think he sees that and recognizes that. And really respects that, you know? So I think once I, you know, I think every parent worries about their kid and they just want their kid to be happy and, and, you know, have a good life. Right? And so of course you're going to worry.
But once you realize like, oh, okay, I've established myself, like, I'm good, I can take care of myself. Like things are okay. Then he's like, okay. But, like, the the sort of twist that happened a few years ago, which is really fun, is that, he became the leader of, an organization, like he was on the board, and then he actually became like, the, the board president, and he was asking me for advice like, can you help me with my resume?
And then, like, I do leadership work. And so we would have these really amazing conversations about leadership and like what it means to be a good leader. And, he, he really appreciated it. Like I had something I could share with him, you know, and he was like a great leader. He accomplished so much in the context of this organization.
So it was like we were able to find a relationship that was almost more like peers, in a way. I mean of course, he's still my dad, he’s always going to be my dad. But it was like a real development, I would say, of our relationship.
Reena: I absolutely love that. I love that the tables turned a little bit.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: And he needed some advice from you. That's so cool. It's interesting when that happens kind of like midlife. Are there any other like, creative projects you guys have done together?
Melinda: Yeah. Well, so my dad's a woodworker in his retirement and, you know, he's always had a creative side, but he didn't, you know, and he's always had like a woodshop and stuff like that.
But he's really gotten into it since he retired. He turns bowls, he makes furniture. And so, you know, we've, I've gone in the shop with him and like worked on turning bowls together and things like that. Like picking out the wood and like figuring out how are we going to shape it. And I love that kind of stuff.
And also I've commissioned some pieces from him, like some jewelry boxes or just some other kinds of, like, boxes to keep, like, letters and cards in. And you know, my place, I have tons of his bowls and his furniture in my place. So it's really lovely to have, like, something in my space that reminds me of him, that he actually created.
Reena: Okay, so I really love that. And it's funny because my dad ran a manufacturing company with his parents for 40 plus years, and they used to make like lighting reflectors. And when we had a house in Chicago, I really wanted to take some of those lighting reflectors and put them in our home. And now that kind of like, makes me want to do that.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: Cause we're looking to buy a home here in Texas now.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: I think that would be really cool in my studio to have some of my dad's, like, candle lighting.
Melinda: That would be so cool and so unique.
Reena: Yes. And he used to make different colored ones too. And he was even thinking of like turning some of them into, like, pots for plants, you know, like. That could be cool.
Melinda: Yeah. I love that so much. You definitely should do it. Yeah. Cool. So I kind of wanted to ask you also, and we were kind of talking about this on the phone the other day, like, you know, do you see yourself as a creative? I think you do. Right? I mean, do you see yourself as a creative person?
Reena: I think honestly, through this podcast, I've accepted it.
Melinda: Yes. And what does it mean to you to be a creative person? Like, like what does that mean to, like, sort of embrace that label? And I ask because I think a lot of people say like, oh, well, I'm not creative and I believe we're all creative. So but like, how is it empowering or how does it shift things when you actually like take that on? Like, yes, I am a creative person.
Reena: There's lots of aspects to it for me, to be honest. Like, the other night, there was another podcaster who had come to my first podcast or meetup, and she was putting on her first one, and I kind of wanted to see, like, what did she take from the one that I put on?
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: And how did she do things in her own creative way? And I need that energy of, like, other people that are doing things that I also love to do.
Melinda: Yes.
Reena: So if I find out that somebody is a musician, like, Bruce Chamoff, who you mentioned in the intro, I was like, hey, if you ever need somebody to sing a backup hook, like I love to sing. And he was like, ‘Here's the lyrics. I'm not going to tell you what key to sing and give it a go.’
Melinda: Yeah, I love that. Yeah. And that, I think that's so important because I love collaborating with other people. Like, you know, solo creation is great in, you know, there's a time and place for that. But for me, I really get that sense of like synergy from, from collaborating with others. And it sounds like you feel that too.
Reena: 100%. That goes with the title of your show. It's funny, me and my dad were literally just talking about that today. How, you know, you can accomplish a lot of things on your own.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: And you can have a lot of your own creative ideas. But if you can bring on team members who add to your gifts and also bring their own unique gifts, and you can grow together through creativity, that is very powerful. It reminds me of when I used to sing in a choir.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: To be honest, I loved more the resonant sound of the whole than ever getting the solo.
Melinda: Yes, yes. Similar, I sang a cappella in college in a women's a cappella group, and there is nothing better than blending voices and feeling that resonance with others. It’s like the best thing in the world.
Reena: Oh my god, those vibrations. I do it with my kids. This is really funny.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: With all of my kids, I have four. When they're little, they like to make sounds and then you can like, resonate with their sound and they can feel that vibration. They will do that for, you know, 20, 30 minutes straight. I love doing that before bedtime. It's actually meditative.
Melinda: For sure, for sure. Because like, the, it's vibrating in your bones, like when you make sounds with your vocal cords, like it vibrates your whole body. I think it's so calming and healing. Yeah.
Reena: I tell my kids to pick, like, a vowel sound.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: And then I make the same sound with them. And they love it, and then they pick another sound. Yeah.
Melinda: Yeah, totally. I love that. I love that. Well, this is so awesome, Reena. We're kind of getting toward the end of our time. And I usually like to end my episodes with a Creativity Pro-Tip. So I thought, you know, we could kind of brainstorm that together.
So, like, what is something practical that people could take away from the conversation and kind of try out on their own? Like, maybe it's as simple as you were just saying, like resonating with your vocal cords and like finding someone else, a family member, a friend, and just experimenting with sound. But I don't know, like, what's one practical tip that you would give people who are wanting to exercise their creativity more?
Reena: Yeah, when you just first asked me that, my first response, which I like to go with in being creative, is if there's somebody that's doing something that you love, see if there's a way that you can fit into that.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: That is my best tip. Like, there was a girl who reached out to me. Her name is Rée. She's called theinnerdisciplinarian on Instagram. She has a podcast called Homeroom, and she said, “I'm new to interviewing people, but the mission behind my podcast is that I was raised by a single mom and I want to do an even better job for my own daughter.” She was like, “I would love to guest host your podcast.” I thought that that was so sweet, so thoughtful, and a really good way to exercise her chops of wanting to do that.
Melinda: Yeah, I love that. Yeah. So if you see someone doing something interesting that you want to be a part of, ask how you can get involved. Yeah.
Reena: Yeah, I think collaboration is such a good way to try something new. Recently I thought of, like, wanting to launch another podcast.
Melinda: Yeah.
Reena: And so I reached out to somebody who had 21 podcasts, and he's an expert on a lot of the questions that I wanted to cover. And I said, “Hey, would you be interested in maybe doing one segment a week or one segment a month?” And so now we're brainstorming, and I sent him, oh my God. When talking about creative process, I literally sent this guy, like, probably a hundred topics that we could cover together. Once he was like into the idea, I was like, well, here's some more ideas I have, let me know which ones you like!
Melinda: I love that. Well, can't wait to see what comes out of that collaboration. Love that. So. Well, thank you so much, Reena. It's been such a pleasure. I know we've been talking about doing this for a while now. So, so glad that today's today. Thank you for, for being with us.
And I think we're going to do this as a co-release. So we'll, we'll see the conversation in your feed as well. Eventually.
Reena: I was going to say, I can't wait to hear what my dad is going to say.
Melinda: I know, I know, me too.
Reena: Thank you so much, for like, sharing some of your daddy stories with me.
Melinda: Yeah for sure, I can't wait. I'd love to meet your dad someday. That would be so fun. Okay, great.
So, find and connect with us at syncreate.org. We're on all the major podcast platforms under Syncreate and on social media. We're also on Patreon. If you enjoy the show, please subscribe, like, leave us a review.
And we're recording today at Record ATX Studios in Austin, Texas, with Reena in Houston. Thanks again so much for being with us. And the podcast is produced in collaboration with Mike Osborne at 14th Street Studios. Thanks so much for being with us, and see you next time.
